Daily Archives: November 5, 2010

The Old Girls’ Club

Ok, I admit it.  My family is strange.  Most of the time I think I am the strangest of them all but then I think, no, I’m pretty normal and what’s wrong with everyone else?  Seriously, I couldn’t imagine being any other way about this.  Well, I could but it would NOT be as much fun!

When Ed and I were married 37 years ago, Ed had an ex-wife and 2 children, ages 6 and 9.  I didn’t know the ex-wife but couldn’t hold anything against his two adorable children.  I was raised to accept my husband’s children as my own and had a wonderful role-model in Nonnie.  We constantly thought about what we planned in our daily lives around all 4 of us.  But then, the ex-wife remarried and took the kids to Ohio.  O H I O ? ? ?  Crap, we didn’t have the money to see them very often but we kept in touch and eventually, they all 3 returned to the land of honey, Texas.

K.D. lived with us to go to college in Denton and I finally started to get to know the ex-wife Donni a little.  By that point, the kids were grown, or almost grown, and there was really nothing to fight over or get feelings hurt over.  Through the years, various family functions and emergencies, we have gotten to know each other a little better.  It is quite amazing, to be honest, how much we are alike.  We fix our coffee the same way.  Our handwriting is similar.  There are just little things that we find occasionally that make you stop and think, wow!  I guess it makes sense since you tend to either re-marry the same type of person or a complete opposite but, wow.

This year, Donni and I have gone through similar experiences with our mothers and are now trying to learn to deal with that loss.  I had told her earlier this year that we should get together after everything was over and discuss it.  Well, now is that time.  We both need it and, surprisingly, we both seem to want it.  Next week, we are getting together for lunch and heaven help the restaurant we pick.  We will probably spend not only lunch-time but half the afternoon talking and reconnecting, with no one else in the picture.  I know the restaurant will not be prepared but I’m not quite sure that the kids are quite prepared for it either.  I am POSITIVE that Ed is not prepared but at least he is accepting and very supportive.

At least 2 out of 3 of our children think we are BOTH crazy!  Is it strange for a current wife and ex-wife to be friends?  And let’s not even discuss the reaction we get when we tell one child to give the other mother/wife our love.  Yeah, those are just very scary looks but Donni and I just laugh. 

My best friend now lives in northern Fort Worth.  If she is my best friend, I really think she would click with Donni and I intend to invite her for the next Old Girls’ Club meeting.  I think with what we all have been through, we can help each other and use each other as sounding boards when we need it.  Are we ready for a road trip together?  Definitely not!!!  Are we ready to build a bond that would help us the rest of our lives?  I am.  I don’t travel anymore and I am ready for a few friends that I can go to when I need to talk or cry or yell and scream or hug or listen.  I sure hope they do too.  I have always been a lot of things to other people but now I want to change the “long-distance friend” role to just “friend.” 

We’ll have to think of a better name for the club though.  Maybe we could have t-shirts printed or membership cards?  We’ll talk.  I may even let you know how it goes.  And I’m SO looking forward to the kids’ reactions.  Man, what a hoot that will be!

If you feel you need to join the club, please let me know.  I’ll bring it up at our next meeting.