My Summer of Discontent

This summer has been agonizing for me. I haven’t felt like writing. I haven’t felt like singing. I haven’t felt like moving. I haven’t felt like doing anything! I am waiting … waiting for so many things. I feel that I am “on hold.”

  • I am waiting for my son Drake to get home.

    I miss him so badly and the time is almost here for him to be back home. July 25th is getting closer though and I am starting to get antsy. There is now so much to get done. Why didn’t we start sooner, getting Nonnie’s house ready for him? Because I have been in waiting mode, I guess. I know it will all work out, even if we waited for him to get home to complete these tasks, but still, I want everything to be perfect for him. I want him to be home and happy, as happy as I will be when he is back where he belongs … at home!

  • I am waiting for our daughter Kim and her husband Bob to move to Argyle.

    We are giving 2.5 acres to Kim and Bob and 2.5 acres to our son Lee. The full 5 acres will be in Kim and Bob’s names but Lee knows that half of that is his and he can come stand on it and know that part of Nonnie’s heritage is his. I wanted to put those 2.5 acres in his name but couldn’t. We have to get a Special Use Permit for Kim and Bob to use Nonnie’s driveway to get to their house. If I subdivide more than 1 plot, then it becomes a subdivision and we just can’t afford to do that. Hint: I refuse to put in a paved driveway when the road leading to the property isn’t even paved! The SUP has passed Planning & Zoning and goes before the Town Council on July 24th. Assuming they pass it, we can get the plat and the kids can start to build. By next spring, I hope they will be ensconced in their final house. They will then be home!

  • I am waiting to start a new job.

    I have been bored! I need to be active. I need to feel my worth. I need to have a life outside of my house! And, in this economy, I need the extra money!

    I really miss working with a team to come up with a solution that will benefit our customers. Managing a team of people working toward a common goal is fun and rewarding. I have been a programmer, tester, installation team lead, project manager, and Business Analyst. I have worked with customers, technical teams, and management, as taskmaster, confidant, and devil’s advocate, changing at a moment’s notice, depending upon what’s needed. I really miss that challenge!

    Yes, we have natural gas under our land but they haven’t drilled yet because the price of natural gas is so low. That will change, I am confident, but until then, I need a job. I WANT a job!

  • I am waiting for the processing of Nonnie’s will to be complete.

    This has taken so long and I am tired of the wait. It is still disconcerting to get things in the mail addressed to The Estate of Yvonne A Jenkins. It has been almost 2 years and I still miss her … badly. She has been such a huge part of our lives for so long. She has been my rock as I traveled around the world. I always knew that she was here, along with my husband and kids, to come home to and that gave me the freedom to enjoy seeing and experiencing the world. Maybe that’s why I want my family living here in Argyle so badly, for them all to be back home, safe from the unsettled world out there and close to my heart.

  • I am waiting for the Meadows Building to be complete.

    I have a potential renter for the apartment at the Meadows Building. I didn’t want to rent it in the poor shape that it was in so we have re-done the bathroom, are repainting and just generally sprucing it up. It’s almost done and Ken has, as usual, done an amazing job. It will be great to have someone living up there once again, keeping an eye on the building after-hours.

    When Drake gets home, we will get the museum back in shape and go through all of Nonnie’s office filing cabinets. I want Drake to know the history of the items displayed so that he can converse with museum visitors. Part of his job when he gets back home will be to manage the Meadows Building and open the museum at least one day a week. Nonnie loved that museum and Drake and I both want to see it available to the community on a regular basis.

One thing I am not waiting for is to lose a little weight.  I have been so sedentary and/or stressed the past three years that the weight has just slowly added up.  When you are only 5’3″, the weight really shows!  So a few months ago, I went on a diet.  As of this morning, I have lost a total of 29 pounds and I feel great.  I have more energy and less lethargy.  I think a big reason I started this now was that I needed to feel I had control over something in my life.  I also needed a goal.  I have about 15 more pounds to lose and I will be satisfied that I met that goal.  Yes, it took dedication and lots of willpower and I still occasionally cheat.  But this is something that I’m not waiting for and that feels so good.

Yes, there are so many things that I am still waiting for and I am tired of waiting. I look forward to August because most of that waiting will be over and I can get on with my life. Yes, I am tired of waiting but we always seem to be waiting for something; the economy to get better, getting a new car or house, taking a vacation, kids to outgrow the “terrible two’s,” losing a little extra weight, getting well after a long illness. We always seem to be waiting for something.

This year, it seems I am waiting for more than usual. Let’s get a move on and get this ball rolling!  I’m truly tired of being “on hold!”


3 responses to “My Summer of Discontent

  1. Kay, it sounds like you’re having “life”! I miss your Mom too. I’ve never a tougher time, or more fun, than negotiating with her! Take care, you and you’re family are in my thoughts and prayers!

    • Lol. Thanks, Mike. Yes, she was one tough negotiator, wasn’t she? I’m trying to get her house ready for Drake to live in when he gets home and I’m learning to deal with her absence more and more. It does get easier but it doesn’t get better. Her family and friends miss her still but the town really misses her. They have blamed certain electrical problems on her interference and talk to her regularly when things go awry. Lol. She was indeed a character that people either hated or loved, depending upon what side of the fence they were on at the time. And you definitely knew what side of her you were on! She was never a good poker player!

  2. Kay, I can relate to you in so many ways – we are just on different avenues. Its always the hurry up and wait thing for me. I’m hoping to learn something in this phase of life….. I’ll let you know what happens.